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Say what you mean!

The meaning of your communication is in the response it gets and not in your intention!

I smile as I type this. The times I remind groups about this and I still forget it from time to time! I always find that it’s helpful to appreciate a point more clearly if someone tells me their experiences. Well I certainly have a few.

There was the time at a well know store where I had been looking for jeans. It had taken me a while to choose them being only petite (that’s better than being short in my view!) I queued for what must have been at least 10 minutes before arriving at the counter. At that precise moment I thought to myself “Go on, treat yourself!” and I decided to add a couple of tops to my purchase. I said to the assistant and I quote “I’ll just leave these here” and laid them on the counter. Off I went again, chose 2 tops and queued for even longer this time. I arrived at the counter with my tops and said to the assistant “can you add these to my jeans please?” Well, she looked at me blankly and then remembered and said “I didn’t think you wanted them and they are back in the storeroom.”  The moral of this tale is that I had assumed she would have understood to hang onto them for me.

As if that wasn’t enough, last Saturday night, my hubby and I went to a pub for supper. I couldn’t decide between 2 wines and said to the waitress I’ll have a little taste of both in the naive expectation that I would have 2 glasses with a mouthful in each – silly me. Much to my astonishment, I received one glass with indeed the two wines within it! Suffice it to say, it tasted quite pleasant and for the wine boffins among you, you didn’t read that last bit!

Whilst these may be frivolous examples, they serve to highlight the importance of making your message clear. The responsibility is on the giver to ensure clarity of understanding – it might not be wine the next time!!


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You may have gathered that my training is unique and it sticks! I have a number of mischievous friends who help me, hover over the photos and get introduced….