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Rapport is the door – Flexibility the key! How flexible are you?

Have you ever found yourself working through a list of friends, some old and some fairly new, to invite to your house for supper? What are your criteria I wonder? Why do you think of someone and then dismiss the thought almost as soon as you’ve mentioned their name? I imagine your criteria would be similar to appointing a valued member of staff. What about their ability to:

  • Enter a group of people with confidence and sensitivity
  • Get on with everyone, however different.
  • Agree ‘elegantly’ to disagree.
  • Be tactful with the skill of talking conversationally around subjects with which they may powerfully disagree.
  • Carry out conversations on subjects of little interest to them personally and in the process encouraging that person to talk.
  • Create and maintain a conversation with people who are considered by many as ‘boring!’
  • Listen and ask people about themselves rather than tell about themselves.


Being able to identify your own behaviour first and then consciously modify it with an individual could mean the difference between winning or losing a new client or customer. It’s commonly accepted that people like people who are most like themselves. We all know people we’d invite because we know that they can ‘get on with anybody!’

So if someone is wondering whether to include you on their supper list how confident are you that you’ll get invited!

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