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Hey Ho – Let It Go!

Have you ever found yourself sitting in the aftermath of some sort of performance that didn’t go at all well or as you had hoped? You are totally preoccupied with what people must be thinking about you. I know I have. I felt they must still be talking about me.  Well let me give you a quotation I found and it goes like this “We wouldn’t worry about what people thought of us if we realised how seldom they did!” People in my experience are far more concerned about the impression they are giving to others.

As I type I’m reminded of a training session I had been delivering to a group of police officers several years ago now. We were all sitting having coffee at the end of the day in their canteen when one of the guys froze in mid conversation and looked directly over my shoulder, and suddenly stopped talking. “Don’t look now,” he said in hushed tones “That’s him! That’s the guy I had the run in with over the use of fire arms at an incident a few years ago. He’s a chief constable now and when he sees me it’s going to be really awkward . I’ve been worrying about the impression I left with him all this time…..”

We all saw this guy coming towards our group with his coffee looking for somewhere to sit. Of course the only space was in our cluster of coffee chairs – so he sat down next to the, by now increasingly flustered, sergeant. Greetings were exchanged and the Chief Constable went round the group asking politely who was who in the group and what their current role was. Eventually it was the turn of our flustered soul and so he found himself touching base with that incident. We do this don’t we?

The Chief Constable smiled broadly and said “ D’you know, you taught me a lot about the use of firearms on your patch and all the difficulties and decisions you had to make at the time and I never really thanked you….”

So – the moral of this tale is to make a choice. Sensitively check these feelings out with the person in question or let it go! Remember sometimes our memories are not as accurate as we think. So, where it’s not possible or you decide not to check these feeling out and you  find yourself brooding, say quietly to yourself “ Hey ho, let it go!” and mean it!

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